It is interesting to have a book in print. And like many authors who self publish I find myself wondering if I should buy boxes of books at a discounted rate offered when purchasing books in bulk and hope I can sell them either to bookstores, individuals, or in connection with some sort of charity. Right now individuals can purchase a copy online and that is it. And as much as I want people around me to purchase and enjoy this collection of poetry, I also am not trying to be a walking advertisement for myself. I have often joked that I would walk around with the book around my neck like Flava Flav and his clocks, but of course, as comical as I like to be, I do not think I'll actually pursue that form of advertising. It is the struggle of any type of artist to try to figure out if the art produced is for personal fulfillment and enlightenment, or if creating a fan-base and developing art as income producing vocation is the goal. At this point I am at the personal fulfillment point. If some day I could be considered a "writer" or an "artist" in the eyes of a wider public would be wonderful, I think. Haven't we all dreamed of some sort of stardom? Being written about, critiqued, in a public realm? It will be interesting to find out if this ends at a "look, I published a book" or if I will continue on and try to fight my way through the noise, insisting that what I wrote is worth the time and energy, to make this avocation a vocation.

What do you think of the poetry that you have read here or otherwise? If you purchase the book I would love a review. Let me know what you think!

Now Available!

I am excited to announce that I received the last proof- the proof of the published product. It looks great, so if you would like to purchase a copy, please do so at the following link:

Old Souls, New Coat of Paint by Heidi Van Dolah

Feedback request.

The problem with poetry is that it is so subjective. How someone reads it and what someone takes from it is so different person to person. As the time gets closer to me having a copy of the book in hand, as it gets closer to some of you having a copy of this book in hand, my confidence waivers, my heart pounds with nervous energy- please let me know what you think. Give me feedback. Tell me it is terrible! Tell me it is great! Tell me what you like and/or what you do not. Because if I ever do this again it will be based very much on this first publishing experience and the feedback I receive. Post it here. Send me an email. Post on Facebook. But, please, do not stay quiet. Tell me! It is the only way I can learn. It is the only way I can know if this pursuit was fruitful; whether good or bad, positive or negative, I really just need to know.

On its way!

I have approved the final galley. The book will be in print very shortly. I will have the first copy in my hands within 15 days. Incomprehensible. I am overwhelmed.

I will post the link to purchase the book as soon as it is available.

Thanks so much for your support.

Peace n' love, always, my friends,

Heidi

Would like to thank a few more people who have been supportive through this endeavor:

especially my husband, Jeremy, whom I love and adore,

my children for their constant wonder,

my sister, Heather, who has always loved me just the way I am,

my mother, who is a poet who doesn't write anymore,

Mick, Queenie, Kat, Shells...you are all the best,

Melissa, my newest BFF, who feels like an old BFF,

all those who have inspired the poetry, including those mentioned above

and to all those who continue to support and inspire me...

Thank you!

And I hope this collection of poems will not disappoint. It might offend, it might make you feel things that even you yourself did not know you could feel, it might shock, it might make you nod in agreement, cry, laugh, cringe, smile, hug your loved one, but with all that and anything else it might make you feel, I just hope it does not disappoint.

The second galley has been received and I'm working on making a few edits. I'm pleased with some of the choices the designers made, but still working with a few formatting issues. My line breaks are important for meaning and rhythm, but unfortunately one poem's line breaks are not able to be kept as I had intended per the size of the page and the font used. I will either have to accept their line breaks (cringe!) or find some other solution.

Below is an excerpt of a poem, "Sought," that has never been posted anywhere but here:

Approaching where she has been, her voice trails

farther into the future, a memory carried on the wind.

He treks onward.

Forest. Camouflaged clues evade.

The past disappearing.

Still he searches.

Patiently.

Through the forest to the hills from hills to mountains,

to that valley.

Wild horses graze. Rare birds untouched.

Nose kissed by the smell of her neck,

where the shoulder pined for its grace,

he became a starved lion on the hunt-

© Heidi Van Dolah 2011

And while I'm thinking about it, I want to thank the wonderful people and poets at TPS (The Poet Sanctuary: www.thepoetsanctuary.net) who have been a huge part of me being able to publish this book at all. I would also like to thank Matt Matters for introducing me to Iron Mic Music (www.ironmicmusic.com) and for the inspiration to start writing again.

Whether this endeavor is fruitful beyond the chance to publish a book is of course left to destiny, but I do hope that whomever decides to purchase this piece of my mind will enjoy it! (I'm already pondering volume 2.)

The cover of the book has been approved. And I'm working on looking over the proof to make sure I like the format of each poem - which I don't right now, so it will be a couple weeks before I approve it for printing. But, I'm that much closer! For those of you who would like to buy a copy, February is still the goal release month.

Another poem to entice you into purchasing:

Rise

Like the sleeping volcano

strength hides

until it rises

abruptly

your ego aside

truth erupts.

Start on a park bench

feel the static eyes

you pretend to sleep.

A cup jingles pennies

no change, in time

hours become days

snail's progress.

A flightless bird

still feel free

peck seed

grow

use wings anyway

try.

The mustard seed

becomes a tree

rooted by the bird

like destiny.

Rise.

© 2010 Heidi Van Dolah