Reviewed my manuscript today. It's solid. I've determined that each poem was chosen for publication for a reason and I placed each word and punctuation mark within each poem purposefully as well. It's so easy to doubt, so easy to over-edit and second-guess. Since there's not much I can do at this point unless I want to stop the entire process, I either must accept that I've made good decisions or feel that I'm publishing a worthless book.

Let me know what you think about this one:

Peanut Butter and Passion

Naked peanut butter smooth and creamy

until the knife digs in creating landscape

just to be destroyed over time,

but so enjoyable to consume

like if I am the flame

and he is the torch.

Touch me.

I'm starving.

© 2010 Heidi Van Dolah

I decided not to use the promotional opportunities offered by Author House at this time. I spoiled my children this holiday and I do not feel right spending money on advertising my book when we do not really have the money to spare. So! I'm counting on word of mouth! I hope that if you buy the book, that you enjoy it and that you tell others about it!

It has some sensual poetry. Some love. Thematically I touch on shame and regret, disappointment and death, appreciation, friendship, family dynamics, and desire. Some say it is definitely worth it that I publish. I hope it's true. I can never be certain when there are more poets than poetry readers in this century.

The book is in production mode. I'm waiting for the proof. The painting posted will be on the cover. I'm very excited. It's difficult to contain so I just do happy dances in my room when no one's looking; that way when I'm in public I can pretend I'm just cool and calm.

My book is in the works! I am planning a 60 page collection of poetry that I have been slaving over for the past couple of years. Release date still unknown. But of course I will update this blog as soon as it is available.

To tempt you and make you hungry for more, here is a poem that will be included:

Nurse

Bandages for all:

heart surgery no matter the extent of decay,

lips to your wounds to kiss the pain away,

take my arms, womb, tongue and toes;

it is my goal to make you whole.

I fall madly in love with the desperately broken:

anyone in need of repair?

Let me fulfill all desires that flesh can.

Let me in-

I'll smile and laugh with grace and beauty,

hang on your every word,

applaud your every move.

No matter the body, breeding or blood

I will drink every tear-

I attempt to flip your switches:

not damaged but battle-scarred. You deserve pride.

And when you see me again,

singing to myself a tragic song,

(in between mending another heartbroken wanderer)

notice the dark circles, the dry, cracked hands and nails,

no make-up to smear away the grief as I trudge along-

just smile, though you've finished with me.

Such charity- to make me think this works.

© Heidi Van Dolah 2010

Are you salivating? Aren't you impressed? Don't you want more!

Indulge in my writing, and let me indulge in your enjoyment of it.